Written By: Jenn-Anne Gledhill
So in “Admission,” Tina Fey plays a boring admission counselor recruiting for boring Princeton University, and she’s been in a long term relationship with a boring guy who tells the neighbor lady that she should know better than to ask Tina to babysit because Tina hates kids which seems pretty obvious because they are standing by the door screaming for no reason other than to show us she has no “skillz with the kidz,” and so we begin to think that this is going to be about her learning to love kids in time to start a family, but then while her boss is announcing that he is retiring, and the race to inherit his job is on between her and a woman who looks oddly similar to SNL alumni Maya Rudolph, Tina gets a phone call from a guy (Paul Rudd) who went to Dartmouth when she did, and he is calling to say that this new “developmental high school” wants her to visit, and when she does, all the students think she’s snooty, all except for one kid who is odd and bizarre and is perhaps on the brilliant side of the spectrum (I’m giving that character a LOT of credit with these words, as I honestly don’t know what the deal was with him as he was painted with a super wide “bizarre genius” paintbrush) and then Tina Fey’s character kisses the Paul Rudd character which seems to come out of nowhere since Tina is using her standard asexual Liz Lemon acting kit, (I suspect unintentionally, but apparently without a glamorous stylist her haircut is rather butch) but then her boyfriend leaves her at a dinner party and we get more bad acting and mad-weak physical humor from Tina in a pantry when the shelves come a’tumbling down, but then it gets all psychodrama when we learn that her Mom is this uber-feminist whose cheap “new tits” joke confuses things even more, so we start thinking, “Oh, this must be about making peace with her Mom, Lily Tomlin, and wait a minute, I thought this movie was starting to suck but Lily Tomlin is in it, too, so I’m going to look at it through new eyes: give it another chance,” but then Paul Rudd says that Tina is the biological mother of the badly drawn Rainman boy, and then Paul smashes a beloved ceramic elephant statue on the floor to show his adopted son from Uganda that he loves the boy even more than he loves the statue, but Tina Fey can’t really get a proper perspective on all this because she keeps running into her ex all over the campus, and his reactions to her are as out of place as the students falling through trap doors and doing backbends on her desk, but Tina Lemon doesn’t really have time to sort all that out because she has to convince Princeton to accept her son who does a painful Descartes ventriloquist act, and in desperation (guilt? Redemption? Closure?) Tina finally takes matters into her own hands and busts into the records offices at Princteon after cutting her Bonsai tree bald in a symbolic gesture as unsubtle as the title’s double meaning and then…well I don’t want to give away the ending.
You know what? Just skip this one all together.
But you all knew that, right? Well, a deadline’s a deadline, and my sister visiting from Florida didn’t want to see “The Croods.” Family first! See you in two weeks…